Friday, June 3, 2016
Ok so PROs;
I mentioned that quit smoking, and it's been 6 months now:
People around me got sick. My good pal Ilana passed away just over a week ago. My heart aches every day and I can only imagine it will do so whenever I think of her. It breaks my heart to see my sister so sad, and my mother, and all my friends who are going through this loss around me. I am mostly sad for her wonderful husband, her 2 sons and her family.
Ilana has been featured in this very popular blog before.
My good friend/co-worker's daughter also lost a battle with cancer. Just one month ago. She was exactly my age. She has 3 kids. I can't begin to image what my pal is feeling, or how hard each and every day must be. She's coming back to work next week- and I will be grateful to be able to once again she her on a daily basis.
I also went through some hard, personal times. In my own life, my relationship fell apart. It was March when it really came to a head, and it was decided we would separate.
I was a mess. I could not eat. I did not sleep well. I drank a lot.
But during these times I had the most wonderful people who were there for me. My family and friends reminded me of all the support I had. Strangely enough, C was one of them, even. Of course, we gave each other space and had our terrible moments. But we often just hung out as pals- and seeing as though we resided together until May 1st- it made cohabitation better than tolerable.
People told me I would come out stronger and better than ever. I am getting there. I still miss him being in my life daily, but of course I do! More than anything, I realize that he was my best bud for almost 10 years. It's a pretty big change. I hope to come out of this with some kind of friendship in the end.
I have come to realize that I need to live for me. I lost myself for a while there. I don't blame him, or even us. The problem was not just my love life. I think my life in general grew kind of stagnant in it's own way. I let it.
I am ready to live. And I know someday I'll be ready to love. But for now, I'm loving myself, this city (and my great new neighborhood!) and my buds.
*Insert photos of just a few of the people i love*